Hmm, thanks to FineWoven, could it be time for the return of the “gate”? FineWovengate seems too long but Casegate doesn’t seem specific enough.
Yes, although the iPhone 15 Pro seems to be a hit, the same cannot be said for Apple’s new “premium” case for the new devices.
According to The Verge:
“The new FineWoven iPhone cases are very bad”
Now, you might think “Oh, The Verge. They didn’t even like it when Apple removed the headphone jack!” That’s a weird thing to say but, yeah, they did go on about it for a long time, but The Verge isn’t the only one saying this.
Federico Viticci put his FineWoven case down on a bar table and discovered the next day that it was now stained. His conclusion:
I honestly think this is the worst accessory Apple’s ever produced and I may just throw this out now. (Great for the environment!)
Well, as long as you don’t burn it it’s probably still slightly better for the environment than the comparable leather case. Of course, if people just run out and buy a leather case after throwing out a FineWoven case… this could turn into a real carbon points mess.
Speaking of burning the case, that’s exactly what iFixIt did in its teardown, amongst such other tests such as putting it under a microscope, scratching it, and staining it with coffee, oil, and hot sauce. General conclusion: do not do any of these things to a FineWoven case. When you receive yours, it’s probably best to just keep it mint-in-the-box. Try to avoid looking at it. Definitely don’t use harsh words around it.
The Macalope was trying to think of other accessories Apple has made that have been less than spectacular. iPod Socks were just unnecessary. Apparently, some people actually liked the hockey puck mouse. The Magic Mouse with the charging port on the bottom still worked as a mouse. The AirPower charging mat probably would have given these cases a run for their money if it had ever been released.
Not only are the cases apparently highly scratch and stain-prone, but the USB-C port hole is too small for many third-party USB cables and some cases appear to have the hole misaligned. They are only off by a matter of millimeters, but this is Apple we’re talking about here. Being off by millimeters is not supposed to be in its vocabulary.
The Macalope feels like we’re about two days away from a FineWoven case spontaneously bursting into flames.
These all might seem like minor complaints. After all, the cases still protect the iPhone, which is their main job. And they don’t require a bovine sacrifice to make them, which is their other main job. But remember that Apple sells this case for $59 in an era where you can probably acquire a smartphone case on Amazon just for writing a positive review about it (they make it up on volume).
Apple of course says the FineWoven scratches and stains are a feature not a bug, and assures everyone that FineWoven is “made from a luxurious microtwill, with a soft yet durable suede-like texture.” Retail workers are instructed to point out that the cases “may look different and show wear over time as the fibers get compressed with normal use.” So if yours is scratched it’s not ruined, it’s unique.
Long story short, if you were considering buying a FineWoven case, you might want to consider other options, like wrapping your iPhone in an old newspaper. Same net effect but a lot cheaper. The Macalope has long been a case-less iPhone user anyway, so he was never going to consider Apple’s pricey grease magnet even if the company made it for his lowly iPhone 13 mini.
All of this certainly bodes well for the Apple Watch FineWoven Magnetic Link bands which you can now order from Apple for the low price of $99! Looking forward to seeing how they do with body oils and sweat, as well as anything else you might come into contact with while wearing one.
Sorry, the Macalope typed that before he really considered all the disgusting things it really could be.
Well, whatever you want to call this scandal, at least there’s nothing wrong with the iPhone 15 Pros themselves which-
“iPhone 15 Pro: Sharp edge between glass and titanium frame”
Oh, that. Well, look, that’s only an issue on some devices and isn’t a problem at all if… uh… if…
…if you use a case.
Hey, you know what’s really great? Kettle corn.